It happened with me so many times.
It has been happening to me since, I don't know when. Every time it happens, I am heart broken. They say, that a friend in need is a friend indeed. My attitude, though, is not quite influenced by this adage; as I must admit I have found helping others to be one of the most pleasurable things in life. I like to help others, am almost obsessed with it and often do it if it is not much of an inconvenience.
That is alright. But the problem is, that when people notice that you are a helping kind, they take you for granted and use and exploit you. They find out that you are a peculiar case of one wanting to help others, and ask for it whenever they need it. I'm kind of tired of appearing to be a 'fool' in their eyes for this behavior.
And I must admit, receiving some reciprocal help is not entirely undesirable to me. I do expect some help from the other end if I can't help it myself. And my poor heart is, as I said previously, broken when I don't get it.
I sit down and think as to why I should be denied something I so generously give to others? Then I realize that the problem may well lie with me. Because I never made a deal, I volunteered to help. I noticed that whenever a person helps another, he conveys through gestures and tacit hints that he would be expecting the same. But I never did that to anyone. In fact, I try to appear as if my helping is no matter at all, lest the other person feels bad in his heart thinking he might be bothering me.
I always try to appear as if my help is no big deal, and that they couldn't done it themselves had they wished. I didn't want the other person to feel uneasy.
But what I get in return is betrayal. Whenever I expect a little help from my beneficiaries, they turn me down on the floor.
And I am saddned. Sometimes I resolve not to help them or any other person in future, and that that was the last case of charitable service.
But I know a while later that it would be impossible for me to do that. I would still be helping others, for the sake of humanity and for the pleasure it brings me. I feel this is the highest religion an man can follow.
And I would bear the denials and ingratitudes, more often, smilingly.
It has been happening to me since, I don't know when. Every time it happens, I am heart broken. They say, that a friend in need is a friend indeed. My attitude, though, is not quite influenced by this adage; as I must admit I have found helping others to be one of the most pleasurable things in life. I like to help others, am almost obsessed with it and often do it if it is not much of an inconvenience.
That is alright. But the problem is, that when people notice that you are a helping kind, they take you for granted and use and exploit you. They find out that you are a peculiar case of one wanting to help others, and ask for it whenever they need it. I'm kind of tired of appearing to be a 'fool' in their eyes for this behavior.
And I must admit, receiving some reciprocal help is not entirely undesirable to me. I do expect some help from the other end if I can't help it myself. And my poor heart is, as I said previously, broken when I don't get it.
I sit down and think as to why I should be denied something I so generously give to others? Then I realize that the problem may well lie with me. Because I never made a deal, I volunteered to help. I noticed that whenever a person helps another, he conveys through gestures and tacit hints that he would be expecting the same. But I never did that to anyone. In fact, I try to appear as if my helping is no matter at all, lest the other person feels bad in his heart thinking he might be bothering me.
I always try to appear as if my help is no big deal, and that they couldn't done it themselves had they wished. I didn't want the other person to feel uneasy.
But what I get in return is betrayal. Whenever I expect a little help from my beneficiaries, they turn me down on the floor.
And I am saddned. Sometimes I resolve not to help them or any other person in future, and that that was the last case of charitable service.
But I know a while later that it would be impossible for me to do that. I would still be helping others, for the sake of humanity and for the pleasure it brings me. I feel this is the highest religion an man can follow.
And I would bear the denials and ingratitudes, more often, smilingly.
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